Friday, November 21, 2008

not so sparkly :(

So, obviously I haven't written in a while - this is due to having taken a month long business trip, during which C and I broke up. Imagine breaking up with someone literally thousands of miles away, knowing that they are alone, in the apartment you cosigned a lease on, with all of your stuff and your two kittens! It was traumatic, to say the least. Basically, it took a lot of good friends and a lot of free drinks to realize that I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship. I had alienated all of my friends (because if I hung out with them, C told me that I was clearly going out to meet different guys), I had become afraid to leave the apartment for more then an hour (because nothing took longer then an hour, and if it did then I was clearly lying about wherever I was, and since C didn't like to leave the apartment he had to depend on his male intuition to tell him this), and I had compromised a lot of my values and morals to please someone that wasn't anywhere near worth it (and obviously, someone who was worth it would never have asked me to do anything I didn't feel comfortable with).

Basically, C had Cole, the guy who had been staying on our couch the entire time we lived together, call one of the guys I work with, B, and tell B that C had committed suicide. This spread to my entire workplace (we had a conference hotel room that everyone met up in, and it's a fairly young crowd so we're all friends). I came back from tea (we were in Canada) to a room full of depressed looking guys, and was escorted into a room where I was put on B's phone with Cole. Cole proceeded to tell me that he had found C dead in our room, and I, obviously, started sobbing. Meanwhile, B, whose phone I was on and who had heard this whole story, proceeded to call the police in SD and report a suicide in our apartment, and as Cole and I continued talking, all of a sudden it turned to "C's going to the hospital" and then "C's in critical condition at the hospital" and then I was on the phone with C and he 'didn't know who I was'. It became obvious at this point that the whole scenario was made up, and I haven't spoken to him since. It was the most mortifying experience of my entire life, because it involved everyone I worked with, but more importantly, it took other people being involved for me to come to terms with the fact that this action was not abnormal for him.

Since then, my parents came out here and moved me to a new apartment in a totally different location, my girly from high school is moving out in December to be my roommate, and I have been trying to catch up on my lost year! It's been amazing because girls I thought I had drifted apart from have embraced me rejoining their circles, and because I completely forgot how fun it is to be single!! Unfortunately, I managed to wreck my car while reaching for Cheetos after the Marine Corps Ball last week, so I am now in the market for a car - suggestions?

And as a last sidenote, I was eating a little bag of oyster crackers last night, and they tasted funny, so I looked down in the bag and realized it was full of BUGS! YES! BUGS! and they were in my stomach because I had eaten them!!! So I promptly threw up and then yelled at our supply/food coordinator - I am so revolted :p

Better question - is this too formal for a company Christmas Party? The attire is cocktail/semi-formal. I work for a government organization, but the average age is 22. I am fairly/very high in the company (there are about 20 people above me and about 200 below) so I am trying to look fun and festive without being too revealing or too stuffy...everyone knows I am a sequins and sparkles girl, so I don't feel like this would be that big of a stretch, but I do I go out afterward in this, you know! Carrie Underwood totally rocked it two years ago, though, and if her stylist thinks it's good enough for her, then it's probably good enough for little old me, right?


N.M.B. said...

WOW what at time you've had!! I'm so glad you're out of the unhealthy relationship and you're able to start over.

Jewels said...

Go for the dress girl! You definitely need to shine and sparkle in all your single glory esp as the new year approaches. New Year, new life, new Dress!!!

The Bona Fide Preppy Bride said...

Ok seriously... WHO DOES THAT??? Obviously I'm referring to the suicide thing. Im sure it hurts right now, but that is ridiculous. But on the bright side, you live in San Diego right? Luckily, there are about a million boys there for you to choose from:) Since my fiance is from SD, I am a big fan of the area! haha

Oh, and I think the dress would be completely appropriate! So cute!

I hope things start looking up for you soon:)

jean hsu said...

hi girl,

haven't read your blog in a while - and thats because i havent blogged in a while myself - see that you havent blogged since november, so maybe things have changed for you? but WOW what a story - but arent these moments great when you are able to find out who are the people that truly care about you!?!?!

hope you rocked out on your holiday party in style and hope you are having a great new year so far.